take care of today

i am flirting with the food right now. for the past couple of hours i have been thinking about food but not in the regular obsessive way. night times are hard for me and usually that coupled with the tv/internet will push me to binge. i did overeat and the itch was still there, but the crazy push to run to the 24 walmart is not there. usually the trek in the car would not be an obstacle for me. i would duck out in the dead of night in my hoodie to make the transaction. rushing all the while to get back home and retreat. but now that i have tasted a droplet of freedom my mind is not as chaotic and that i know is ONLY by the grace of God. it is confusing me right now.... i overate during dinner and i have the option to go right now to get a fix but i am staying here inside and writing. there is no logical explaination for that---just grace. i even ate sugar ( a couple of jelly beans) but i did not want more. i am not saying that i am healed from this food obsession- i am NOT normal with food at all. i feel like God is saying to me: I got this, this abstinence this is going to happen, trust me. prepare your enviornment as much as possible to support your recovery by setting strong boundaries with your food plan, eating behaviors and working the steps and the rest will be taken care of. take care of today- this hour, this moment and the weeks, months and years will take care of themselves. i know from the tuesday night meeting that feelings are not facts and that they come and go. yet i thank God for the peace i feel right now. just a simple assurance that i will be taken care of.