d18--- did an online mtg in the afternoon. i was feeling strong, but oh how things change. while i do know that feelings are not facts i did not remember that and i ate dessert tonight. did not binge- but my food plan is no sugar. i knew it was because i was sad and felt alienated even while being around my family.
i know that it was because i had gained weight and it was readily apparent. and to rub salt in the wound the cousin i no longer have a good relationship was there and i was heavier than her! she was always the fat one. also i was missing christmas past- when i was a kid. also learned that a cousin of mine was getting married on october of 08 and he is younger than me. when will my love come?
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